Today was a difficult day.
"Sarah, I have bad news."
Hearing those words from anyone at MD Anderson is heart-wrenching. Today, Dr. Lin called me and informed in that my CT Scan showed small spots on my lungs. This of course is a change from my CT Scan just 4 months ago. While Eric and I knew that this indeed was a possiblity, I had convinced myself that everything would be just fine. I found myself in disbelief. I have very few details -- my mind could not think of any questions.
What I do know:
*I am scheduled for a head to toe PET Scan on Friday at 2:30
*I am going to be meeting with an oncologist next week to discuss results and treatment
*Dr. Lin says I will most likely have chemo
When I was first diagnoised I heard God say to me, "Sarah, you are going to be fine because I have you in my arms, but it is not going to be as easy as you think." I didn't share this with many people because everything was looking really good and I thought I was being overally dramatic. Now I understand. It is beautiful to see how God has constantly provided for me (and Eric) and I know that He will do so through this experience.
Although, I do find myself wondering -- Why me? Honestly, I feel like I have already gone through a lot in my life and I just don't understand this trial. Please pray for me especially with the beginning of the school year. I was so excited to start this year healthy and strong. I WILL start the year strong and I WILL love my children with all of my heart but please pray for strength and health. I want to be able to give them my ALL every day. On another note, I am getting married in November. My marriage is quickly approaching with so many unknowns. While we never know what the future holds, it is definitely easy to let my mind wander down the path of "what if's . . ." Please pray that I will conquer cancer and enter my marriage strong. Please pray for Eric and strength and guidance during this time.
Love you all. Thank you for reading. Wish I could bring better news today.
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I am praying...Thank you for sharing this news...and you are right, God has you in His arms... :) Rest well, friend.
ReplyDeleteCarrie
Prayers from over here for the both of you. For healing, health & peace.
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you, Sarah. Praying for healing, growth and peace.
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you Sarah and know that on the most difficult of days, God carries you. I will pray for Eric as well. I am blessed to have you as my son's teacher! My entire family loves you and know that you are in our prayers always!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWe are thinking and praying for you, Sarah. You are so strong and will come out of this stronger!
ReplyDeleteOh Sarah, you are such a source of light and love. Praying for you sweet girl----sending my love YOUR way today!!!!! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you during this time. I was so sad to hear this news, but of course marvel at your optimism and faith in God's plan. If you need anything I'm here for you. I'll sit with you while you have chemo or bring you yummy food. You make all of us better people by taking us on this journey with you. Thank you for sharing because I know it's not easy. My thoughts, prayers, and love are with you!
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